Intervention strategies for worried parents

Teenagers who abuse alcohol or other drugs can manage to keep their secrets as if they were secret agents who lead a double life. In the follow-up study on attitudes in a society, conducted in 1998 by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America organization , only 14% of the parents surveyed recognized the possibility that their children had tried marijuana. Next, the young people were surveyed. The triple - 42% - admitted having smoked the weed. Boys often try to hide from their parents the fact that they use alcohol and drugs and parents often refuse to believe that their children can be in these activities.

When parents believe that a teenager may be experimenting with drugs
According to studies of young people on drug treatment, some had been consuming alcohol and other substances for more than two years without their mothers or fathers knowing. By the time a parent suspects that their child has a drug problem, it is likely that the young person already has a serious problem.

When a parent suspects that his teen has a drug problem, he may already have a serious problem.

Trust your instincts : If you have that disturbing feeling that your teen may be involved in drugs, don't ignore it. Talk to your child and explain your concerns in detail. Be prepared: your child can be honest and talk openly about his drug use and ask for help. Be strong and take a position to reassure him: your teen may have made a mistake, but now it's time to correct it. Get your child treated with a mental health or addiction therapist . Your pediatrician can help guide you if you don't know where to start.

Watch the situation : If your child denies their substance use, do not rule out the possibility. Watch it closely. Having physical evidence, such as finding drugs or utensils in your child's room, photos on Facebook or text messages about buying, selling or using drugs, can help you force the issue, which raises the question: Is it ethical? Do you search in a teenager's bedroom or invade your privacy?

Privacy : If you do not have a specific concern about your child's behavior, it is reasonable to allow them a degree of privacy that increases as they mature. However, "when the signs point to substance use," says Dr. Adele Hofmann, "a parent has every right to violate a young person's privacy and look for drugs. Teenagers are not autonomous adults living in their parents' house. Sometimes, in order to protect them, this is what needs to be done. ”

Check with your pediatrician : Keep a close eye on your child's behavior, even if you don't find physical evidence. Talk to your child's pediatrician and be explicit in the details. Your child may have a medical or mental health problem that has behavioral changes. Whatever the origin of the problem, your pediatrician can help you understand what is happening.

Tips to discover the truth and communicate your concern
Do not confront your child when angry or intoxicated. Wait until everyone has calmed down and he is sober.
It is better to make a plan before talking with your child.
Choose a time when you have privacy and there is a minimum of interruptions.
Save all cell phones and send other children out of the house.
Avoid direct accusations of drug involvement. After all, I could be wrong. Some behaviors that suggest substance abuse, such as being indifferent and distant, may also be symptoms of depression. Or maybe the teenager is going through difficult times at school, but he hasn't told them all the details.
Do not underestimate or make him feel guilty, as in saying: “Keep this up, young man, and you are going to kill your father!” Those who abuse substances are generally already well acquainted with dislike of themselves and it is possible that They feel remorseful for the anguish they have caused. Accentuating their feelings of being useless and embarrassing them will probably not motivate them to stop doing so and could lead them to get high, to silence their pain.
Try to express your concerns in this way: " We've noticed some changes in you lately."
" We've noticed some changes recently ." List them. “We love you and we feel that something is tormenting you. Some people act differently, because they experiment with drinking and other drugs, and then realize that control got out of hand.
“Is this something we should be worried about? If so, we hope you will be honest with us and tell us, so that we can help you stop it, since drugs are a huge problem for a young person to handle on his own and without help. ”